Fifth BEE GEE

Alot of people don't know this about me, but I was the fifth BEEGEE. But jealousy from my siblings and a brief affair with Victoria Pricipal caused my eviction from the group. That and my ability to cover up sexual crimes of, the Rodent involved, nature. I was in my own private dressing room, stocked with multiple hair gels and styling combs, when I heard a high pitched squeal. One squeal seemed to be a pleasure noise slightly harmonized with, an evil laugh, and a slightly muffled briggs and stratton engine. As I caught the scent of burning cheese and what could only be described as fricton burnt chest hair and body gell, I immiediatley realized Andy had bartered a deal with Rick James and Dick Clark, for a recording contract and a free bottle of Baslamic vinegar. By performing in a short film involving, slighlty used cheese clothe, a used mole trap with a recently captured varmint, and a bumper jack from a, 1976 two toned, green and tan, AMC Pacer. The actions of my brother/band member are, far and away, the most degenerate sex crimes ever commited on a toaster,a half dead mole and a poster of Andy Williams, singing purple rain in b flat, accompanied by Zamfur and his panflute. That it is still hard for me to speak of even today. Being jealous of my, superior dancing and singing,talents,not to mention better hair, including chest, pubic and facial, Andy had me replaced with Rick James and the back up singers from clture club. He then immiediatley pursued the love of Victoria and set out to destroy my carreer. When I saw the rage in his eyes and heard the pain in his, lesser talented but still six octave capable, voice. I realised it was time to move aside and let his light shine, if only for a brief moment with Deon Warrick and the solid gold dancers. I moved into the back ground and continued my career as a gardener/body gaurd for Jimmy Osmand and the Mills brothers of Columbia records. Though asked many times to resurface and join many singing groups (Santana, Wild Cherry and KC and the Sunshine Band) just to name a few. I refused to upstage another sibling and cause that much heart ache and animocity of another human beaing. How ever I still help produce and assist on the discovery channel, with the show "Billy the Exterminaator" I also wrangle moles, cappibaras and an evil rabbit named Del Ron Hoover and his cousin, the ground hog known as Punxitauney Phil, for a production company owned and operated by Simon Cowell and Phil Donahue. It makes me happy to know the joy people have gotten from my dancing and singing skills, along with the Character "Tony Manero" modeled after my life, my abilities, good looks and over all coolness and salesman ship of fine Paints. That and the fact that I keep hamsters safe from sexual predators and cotton candy. Don't hate me because of my talents and beauty, for it is a cross to bear, even in seclusion I bring happiness to many. So remember to STAY ALIVE and have a good day!