Cry for Help

Abby Blackburn! Your Aunt Joni is going to Florida and leaving me here to fend for myself. Now usually that is okay, but........ I am sure that just on the other side of the city ditch they are waiting. Yes waiting for her to leave. You ask who or what is it? Well I believe them to be a small group, seven or eight, expertly trained mythical creatures from a Dr. Suess novel. I can't see them from here, as I am laying helpless in bed and can only hear them plotting my demise in a manner to horrid to explain on FB. I only know that it involves three fish and a blue one armed with banana pudding, a paint gun armed with Molasses filled ammo balls and the severed head of three marsupials along with a toxic rendition of Ice Ice Baby performed by Mel Torme and a quartet of, slightly misguided, castrated midgets from Indonesia. My only hope is you receive this message in time. In time to conjure up a Ouija board, some used soda cans filled with acid rain and two and one half drops of blood. Blood being from an over weight wallaby with skin chaffing and a edipous complex. Take these Items to Uncle John and he will take care of the rest. I will keep them at bey with my Psychic pet ,Henry the lobster, by utilizing his unusually large claw, speckled genitalia and supersonic shrieking abilities, while you seek help. Help me Abby Wan your my only hope. Drop by and fix me some toast one day too, would Ya'?