As I ponder life from my bed my mind wanders through out the universe of my past lives and bring on many exicting memories. Like the time I went on a disco mission in search of its origin. The path path was a strange one from the start. As I saddled up my, genetically engineered, striped Panda bear. I recall his lightning speed and remember to grease myself up with a Vasoline and vinegar dusch, so as the keep down friction burns and to feel fresh all mission long. Then as he spreads his/her wings for take off, my weapons are lost in a vaporius cloud of Dry Ice stage fog. set out by the one and only Donna Summer and the group Known only as "WILD CHERRY". With out my trusted, male purse from the early eighties, I quickly disguised myself with a bad perm and some brightly colored doubleknit slacks, purchased in a golf pro shop. How ever would I find this place, this place where fads are started and quickly denied? Quickly thinking I head to studio 54 and the Blue Oyster Bar. Finding my way in a dark alley I come upon seven dwarf NBA players with incredable leaping abilities and a taste for lime jello with carrot slivers. A deal for thier alliance is struck, with a barter for thirteen teflon jello molds in the shape of the OSMOND boys and one slightly used frenchfry cutter. Then we set out for a lit up dance floor, located in Jack Nicholson's basement, and gaurded by Wan Epstien of welcome back carter and his friend from goodtimes JJ Walker. A battle/dance off insued and the dwarfs were succeful in thier match, even though a third party was waiting for them. A hybrid of Danny Bonaduce and Sonny Bono had been created for protection of the original mirrored disco ball. The dance off was furiuos, two ears and one eye were lost. As we enterd Jacks basement the horror of used up female actresses and models were piled to the top of a, dimly lit, Hors d'Oeuvres bar. This was to much for my side kick "Buster Poindexter" to bear. After thwarting off a small force consisting of, mentally impaired PBA officials armed with thumbgaurds, slip resistent shoes and poorly cared for dentures. We noticed a small tribe of Mongolian pigmy skunks and there was the answer.With a small bribe consisting of waffles, a can of pork & beans and a ,slighlty smudged, photo of Eric Estrada. They explained the origin of disco and it's accidentall come about. Seemed they were enjoying thier favorite beverage of Dill Pickle juice and hotsauce, when Jack Nicholson had flagulantly expressed hisself, during a sexual encounter with Cher, two boys from Menuedo and an unknown coked up comedian. The pain was so extreme that Cher and the boys starting writhing in pain and singing to the coked up comedien "fly robin fly" in hopes that his taped on wings would fan away the flaming gasses and save the mirror they were watching therselves in. The Mirror shatterd, the moonwalk and funky chicken was started, as Jane Fonda wanted to see herself immeidiatly,she glued the shards of reflective bits onto a revolving , slightly damaged mid seventies record player and smoked hash with Ho Chee Min! With my Mission accomplished I set the striped Panda bear free,combed out my perm, got the dwarfs a part in the play The WIZ, Helped Buster sign with dream records, and headed home to my crib and mastrubated to the tune of Billy Joel's CAPTAIN JACK. All the while feeling that wonderful freshness, that only a proper dusch and petroleum jelly will provide. This is but one episode in the life of mental midget and his side kick Pork