Saturday, December 18, 2010
Abused and Forgotten.
Aunt Joni has been spending all our money on caramel apples and tube sox. She won't let me buy a new wheelchair AND she smokes pot all day! I am stuck in bed and have no food or water. I think evil, knife wielding, crickets live under my bed and are planning to..... kill me, or hold me captive for Strawberry Pop Tarts and Boonesfarm wine. If only I had my laser powerd toe nail clippers I would feel safe from all dangers. But for now I must fend them off with my wit and sexual favors. My only hope for survival is a rescue attempt by the angry tortoise, and his cousin Thorton the happy moose, whom live in my closet. Either way THERE WILL BE BLOOD! I must go and stratagize now. Have a happy day and drink hot chocolate!
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Scott Blackburn I think your med's have kicked in! There are no evil knife wielding crickets under your bed!.................................................. They are evil venimous millipedes armed with laser guns and tiny pitch forks! There is only way t...o stop them from attacking..you must sit up, stick your left middle finger up your right nostril to the knuckle, put your right arm straight out making the spock sign and say live long and prosper oh gurdians of the Maube hadeed. At that point a giant spice producing sand worm should appear. If they don't stop...climb on top of the worm and ride to safety yelling (as loud as you can) I eat bran muffins!
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