Twisted Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house;
not a person was speaking, especially the spouse.

The siblings have left enraged and in haste;
While late Christmas shopping all went to waste.

The Children are sniffling and weeping in bed;
because all the mean things the adults all have said.

While games of electronics flash throught thier minds;
Then me and the Mrs find pains of all kinds.

When out in the driveway there rang such a clatter;
I ran to the door with a full whiskey bladder.

I saw through the door and what did I see;
The punk from next door that I've known since three.

When I figured it out it did not really matter;
The night stalker kid came fast down the ladder.

I knew in an instance that he had been slick;
The horny rat bastard gave my daughter some dick.

More potent than Buzz from Vincennes north end;
I knew that this was not his only girl friend.

All crazy with lust and feeling no shame;
I heard this boy laugh and filled me with shame.

He ran to the street and fast as he could;
Called out to his women all over the hood.

Now Kendra Now Janice Now Jamie and Bran;
Off to the bed in my cool Chevy Van.

He then left a package for me at my door;
I swore that I'd shoot him with my dad's forty four.

He left in an instance with a cold glearing Glance;
But the package he left was 1 to ten chance.

I hope it's a girl and he'll get repaid;
When someday his baby will be getting laid.

As his eyes sparkled blue in the dim Christmas lights;
He jumped in his van while I read him his rights.

So now at the end of my holiday woes;
I go back in my mind of the days chasing hoes.

Then I knew in an instance what happened that day;
Was some old fashioned karma for a roll in the hay.

As his van sped away in the cold winter's night;
I swore with my gun his life I would smite.

Then off in the distance I still heard him say;
Take care of my offspring and you pay his way.

Now Christmas is over and the new year begins;
I hope the lord helps me and forgives me my sins.